Saturday, December 26, 2015

PTSD Doesn't Have to Be Bitter, Make it Better

PTSD Doesn't Have to Be the Lemon in Life
Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 26, 2015
Every recipe for lemonade tells you to mix in some sugar. Otherwise, you end up with some bitter tasting stuff. It is the same way in life, especially when you're living with PTSD.

If you are thinking of leaving your veteran, it could be because you forgot about the sugar. The sweet within him/her that you fell in love with. It is all still in there. As a matter of fact, it is the biggest reason they suffer such sadness.

There is a song "Lemon Tree" by Peter, Paul and Mary about love ending with bitterness. (Lyrics below)
Loving a veteran with PTSD can be just as bitter at times. If you are post 9-11 generation, I am old enough to be your Mom. I am not so old that I cannot remember over 30 years ago when I was young as well, feeling lost and shattered. I remember feeling as if I couldn't talk to anyone about what was going on.

Sometimes I was embarrassed. Sometimes I was feeling unlovable. Most of the time I was feeling lonely because no one knew what I was going through.

Back then we didn't have the internet or any type of social media. Hell, even reporters were not covering what our generation was dealing with, not that they paid attention to what our own parents went through either, but somehow we managed to find other veteran spouses. We followed our husbands to veterans gatherings because we knew in that community we were not alone. It helped to know that other wives were feeling the same things civilian spouses would have found impossible to deal with.

We learned what worked for them and changed our own lives by their example. After over 30 years, I can honestly say I never stopped loving my husband, even though there were times when I thought I had, the truth is, it never ended. Oh, sure there were times, and still are many, when I don't like him very much, but I'm sure there are times when he doesn't like me either.

The difference is I learned what PTSD was, what it did to him and why it did it.

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