Combat PTSD Wounded Times
August 23, 2017
What is worse to you, needing help from someone else, or worrying that they won't help? Oh, it is all so easy to see so many getting help online but, so hard wondering why you are not one of them. Gets pretty lonely, at best, and at worst, robs you of whatever hope you try to hang onto.
We can keep asking "why" something happened, but sooner or later, we've run out of questions before we found a single answer. I know that feeling all too well and right now, I'm in one of those times when the back of my neck hurts from my head being down so low, instead of held up high.
The weight of the world or something much deeper? I can sit here and feel sorry for myself, asking "why" or I can add in that one extra word that opens the door to possibilities.
Instead of asking "why" add in "not" and see what happens.
I am not a veteran. I am just a human dealing with life and other people as best as I can. You have all the same problems the rest of us do but you also have the extra weight on your shoulders from serving and putting your life on the line.
When you need help, first figure out why you are not asking for it. Is it because of your pride? Nope, since you had no trouble asking for help when your life was on the line along with those you served with. Is it because you've asked before and ended up feeling worse because you were turned down, turned away or put down? So why not ask someone else?
Nothing will ever change until you try to make it happen. If you know your life sucks, then wonder why and then why not do something to make it better?
Life mattered so much to you that you were willing to risk it for others. So why not risk your pride to save your own this time?
Look at your family and the people you think you are making miserable. You must care about them or you wouldn't be thinking of what you're doing to them. Why not think of what you can do for them? Why not think of ways to make your lives better together instead of thinking about something that will cause them to blame themselves for the rest of their lives. Why not give them a chance to help you stay instead of leaving them with that?
Why let what you survived defeat you now? Why not take back control over your life instead? If your pride is stopping you from asking for help, why not think of what it can be like to stand on the other side of this darkness and help someone else get through their own?
"Why be afraid if I'm not alone"
I made Alive Day years ago, and at the end, it says that "18 veterans committed suicide today" but that was what we knew a long time ago. We know better now and now you know better too. The song on the video is "I Will Live For Love" and why not think of your life that way? You were willing to die for those you served with and loved like family. Why not be willing to live for them too?