Monday, January 8, 2018

Doer-losers Take Comfort

Are you a doer-loser?
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 8, 2018

Are you only noticed when someone needs you but invisible when you need someone to help you? Well, take some comfort in the fact that you have plenty of company, including me.
We see it all the time. Someone in need will have plenty of people showing up to help them while someone else wonders what the hell is wrong with them that no one seems to care about.

One veteran will have PTSD and end up with a brand new home for him and his family provided by the community. Then we read about a veteran who ended up homeless and no one helped him. 

Then there are the vultures using homeless veteran for their own gain while others do it humbly because they can make a difference.

We see one group of veterans getting a lot more than others, almost as if they just don't matter anymore.

Then there are the rest of the least among them, the doer-losers who only seem to matter when they have something to give.

We spend our days trying to make a difference in the world, not just because we can, but more, because we have to. It is almost as if it is in our DNA. No matter what the hell is wrong with me, if someone needs something, or is hurting, that is where my focus is.

Don't think I'm unique at all, since there are a lot more of us than the type of person who will only help if there is something in it for them, beyond the feeling you get when you do help someone else.

You know the type. They have post on Facebook all the time about how great they are and they get all the attention. Going through a bit of that myself right now. People I helped just won't help me no matter how many times I ask for something they are perfectly capable of doing.

Anyway, the thing is, I've been thinking a lot about how unfair life can be at times. But it happens more that way than in a good way. If you're getting depressed right now, hang on a bit. 

The rewarded are getting a lot more attention because they are lucky they got the attention of people who would help them. Plain and simple.

The doer-losers like us, well, there are a lot more of us than them, and that's why they are the exception to the rule.

The people we help would not be so lucky if we treated them like everyone else. Oh, trust me, a lot of people were asked to help the ones in need long before we came along and did whatever we could.

I've been mulling it over, or should I say, stewing over it, for a while now and I just had an epiphany. The way things are for us doer-losers, is what Christ was talking about. What we give is what we get back far beyond what people can dream of.

I bet you know what I'm talking about. If you walked away from someone in need, you'd regret it, probably emotionally beat yourself up for deciding to not help because you know what that feels like when no one helps you.

Take heart when you think you're invisible or not worthy of someone helping you. We are only in control over what we do, not what someone else does.

If your friends won't help you, then there is also something else that Christ talked about when He gave these instructions.


“Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts 10 no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep.11 Whatever town or village you enter, search there for some worthy person and stay at their house until you leave. 12 As you enter the home, give it your greeting.13 If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. 15 Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. Matthew 10
Imagine being one of them. They had to keep asking for help from strangers to do what they were sent to do. How many times had people turned them down that Christ had to instruct them what to do when it happened the next time?

Most of my so called "friends" won't support what I do. You'd think a true friend would, but they just ignore all of it. Strangers give me more support. They buy my books, watch videos and read what I do here, but people who know me best, can't be bothered unless I share what they do.

Shake the dust off your feet when it comes to false friends who just want to say they know you, but really have no clue how much they are hurting you.

The stress of wondering what the hell was making me so unworthy of their help, had been eating me up until it dawned on me that it doesn't matter what I should "deserve" from them. The only thing that matters is being able to lay my head down each night knowing that today I did the best I could so that someone doesn't end up feeling as lousy as I did when help was denied and no one cared.

So, take comfort fellow doer-losers out there. We are making a difference because we can, while they won't make a difference because they should.

They say the best way to discover who your friends really are is to ask them to help you move. If they show up, they are friends. If they help you pack on top of showing up, they are true friends.

One of the richest guys I know is flat broke, yet he is constantly thinking about what he can do for other people with less than he has. He knows what it is like to have someone let him know he matters and he passes it on, in whatever way he can.

If you ask for help and it is denied, then ask someone else because out there is another doer-loser who is willing-able and ready to help someone so they can lay their head down at night and know they made a difference too!

As for me, right now, I need a drink! Good night folks.