Tuesday, February 6, 2018

PTSD and grieving can lead to healing

If you grieve, let it heal you
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
February 6, 2018

Who said that you are not supposed to cry? After all, their lives mattered so much, you would pay with your own life to save theirs. 

Who said that grieving was not something you should do? After all, if you cared about someone, it is only natural to grieve when they die.

There are so many really stupid things people say because they are uncomfortable not knowing what to say. 

It is almost as if they would feel like a failure if they could not offer words of comfort in uncomfortable moments. They end up feeling good about themselves, because they did something for you. Did not dawn on them they already succeeded on the failing part, when they said something that could end up harming you the rest of your life.

It could be a buddy telling you that you should go out and have a few drinks to feel better. The truth is, you end up feeling numb. The grief is still there the next morning and you wonder who the hell will understand you, or offer you any comfort.

It could be your own family, not knowing what to say, or do, to help you. They may say something dumb as well, or judge you, because they do not know what is going on.

The thing is, no one has to know anything more than you want to tell them. They do need to know you are hurting and need some support. Let them know what you need. Don't make they guess, because no matter how much they care, they usually guess wrong.

You can remind them of someone they lost and how it felt and tell them it feels like that. If they try to turn it into a contest, remind them the conversation is to make you feel better and not challenge you.

The may not be able to understand what caused PTSD in you, but they will understand what it was like when something bad happened to them. Tell them it is like the same thing happening over and over again, and when it isn't happening, you worry about when it does.

The other thing you need to know is that if you think you do not deserve anyone to care, or feel as if you are evil, remember, evil people do not grieve for someone else. 

If you have faith and think that the suffering is some kind of judgment from God, it isn't. He gave you all you need to heal from what you had to do. Much like He gave you everything you needed to be able to endure all the hardships that came with your job.

I hope this video helps.