Wednesday, February 7, 2018

PTSD is a family affair

Want to change what you live with?
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
February 7, 2018

When they become a "veteran" of service, families need to know, that what they do not know, is harming everyone. Valentines Day is coming next week. Want to start it off with a better relationship?

I know because I said a lot of stupid things over the years. I reacted...overreacted, more times than I want to admit to. I judged my husband and myself. Wondered how on earth we'd ever make it and thought too many times about not wanting to try. What made it worse for me, was, honestly, I knew everything I needed to know about PTSD, but it was still impossible at times.

I can't imagine getting through any of this without knowing what I was facing, or why it was all falling apart. I still can't understand why so many of us end up not even bothering to take all of this seriously enough to not do everything possible to make it about "us" instead of about "them" against us.

So, how serious are you about helping your family live better lives? Are you happy with the way things are? Are your kids suffering?

Lets put it this way. They train to do their jobs but we don't view our part as a "job" we have to train to be able to do. It is hard enough keeping a family together in the civilian world, but damn near impossible when you're trying to do it with someone who was ready to die for the sake of others but ends up feeling like their life isn't worth much anymore.

How are you going to fight that if you don't understand what they are going through? If you don't know where the pain is coming from? You won't have a clue how you can make it worse, anymore than you can plan on how to make it better.

All of us have a job to do in this. It isn't enough to just tell them you love them. You have to prove it but what you are willing to do for them. Are you willing to learn? 

Then contact Point Man International Ministries for a Homefront near you or an OutPost for your veteran. It started way back in 1984 and has been providing peer support for the whole family all along. 

You know, before everyone knew everything they didn't need to know but had no time to learn what could change their lives.

If you live in Florida, contact me woundedtimes@aol.com. I am State Coordinator but also work with families across the country. It is free and confidential. Go to the link above and search for your state. These are all done with small groups or one on one.

What have you got to lose other than a burden you don't need to carry alone?

Think about the words in this song. They can apply to anyone in regular life. Now think of your veteran using the same words.

Rainy Days and Mondays
The Carpenters

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothin' ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me (the one who loves me)

What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out (talk it out)
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do (only thing to do)
Run and find the one who loves me

What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get
Me down

Written by Paul H. Williams, Roger S. Nichols • Copyright © Universal Music Publishing Group