"They get away with it because it’s a hero charity"

Giving Season Needs Wise Giving
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 22, 2017

“They get away with it because it’s a hero charity. It’s an emotional give.” Daniel Borochoff

Tomorrow we'll all gather around a table and share a meal while giving thanks for all we have. At least most of us will. Some will be alone with nothing more than memories of spending time with people they cared about.

For veterans, this can be a very lonely time, especially if they are no longer in contact with those they risked their lives with. It is also a very cold time it they happen to be homeless.

Family and friends no longer around, veterans tug at our hearts and pull at our wallets because, frankly, had it not been for them being willing to sacrifice their lives, we wouldn't have nearly as much to be grateful for.

I tried to see how much is donated to those service organizations, but so far, no luck. I did discover a few very interesting articles on the topic.

Back in 2013, there was a report in the New York Post about a charity stealing from donors. Within the article, there was this message all of us need to consider.

Daniel Borochoff, president of Charity Watch (formerly the American Institute of Philanthropy) has testified before Congress and written extensively about abusive veterans’ charities. 

“They get away with it because it’s a hero charity. It’s an emotional give,” Borochoff told me by phone the other day. “People make snap decisions. They don’t do their homework.” 

Borochoff said that many veterans charities don’t spend their funds directly on vets.

If you look up a tax exempt like mine, it comes with with 100% for administrative but notice the minus and see that I don't even get enough in donations to break even, so as embarrassing as that is, it is actually worse because there is a lot more I do not claim. Hey, only so much that my ego can take.

Anyway, considering I do this work about 45 hours a week, plus work for my paycheck 32 hours a week, you can understand why I get so angry with all the people running around the country claiming they deserve your money just because they say so. Make them prove it!

I suck at raising money. They are great at it. I'd rather be great at what I do because of the results I see all the time when the work is done the way I read it in a book that we should, "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give." Matthew 10:8

It doesn't cost me much to do my "job" so I don't mind losing a couple of thousand a year. I am grateful I have a job that pays my bills.

Maybe that is the thing others should take into consideration. If folks make it their "job" to support themselves talking about how many veterans they think are committing suicide, their income will end when veterans stop ending their own lives. Right? Think about it.

Time to start doing some educated giving if we are ever going to really help veterans.

Find out which veterans they help as much as you research to see what they actually do with the money. For instance, do they claim to be helping all generations, especially it they are talking about suicides, or just the OEF and OIF veterans. Aside from having their numbers wrong, 65% of the veterans committing suicide are over the age of 50. So make them account for the number of veterans they are claiming matter to them. Then get them to explain why they won't help the majority of the veterans needing help the most and waiting the longest for it.

Here are a few more articles on the subject.

U.S. Veterans Organizations by the Numbers

Guide Star November 2015

Where Are They? You’ll find veterans organizations in every state of the union. California, New York, Texas, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Florida, and Illinois have the most (more than 2,000 per state). Rhode Island, Alaska, Delaware, and Hawaii each have fewer than 200 veterans nonprofits located in them. More than 1,000 veterans organizations are in the Washington, DC, metropolitan statistical area (MSA). The Chicago MSA comes in second with more than 745, and the Philadelphia MSA comes in third with 583. read more here

A Donor's Guide to Serving the Needs of Veterans and the Military

Charity Watch

Published 01/26/2015

Over 3.8 million war veterans were receiving disability compensation from the U.S. Veterans Affairs Department (VA) as of March 2014, according to the National Center for Veterans Analysis and Statistics (NCVAS). This is out of over 21.6 million U.S. veterans in 2014, based on NCVAS projections. 

Even though the government, tens of thousands of nonprofit organizations, and millions of caring Americans try to provide support for veterans and military families, many are not receiving the help they need. Much of the blame for this lies with the U.S. government, which provides the lion’s share of services to past and present military personnel and their families. 

A smaller share of the blame lies with the growing number of poorly run and inefficient charities claiming to serve veterans and the military. The inefficiencies of the VA and the existence of so many wasteful nonprofits make it all that much more critical for donors to choose wisely when contributing to a veterans and military charity. 

Donors who want to make contributions towards charitable programs that serve the military and veterans face an almost overwhelming volume of choices with, by some accounts, the existence of over 40,000 nonprofit organizations dedicated to serving the military and veterans and an estimated 400,000 service organizations that in some way touch veterans or service members. 

Even the 2013/2014 Directory of Veterans and Military Service Organizations published by the U.S. Office of the Secretary of Veterans Affairs as an informational service for veterans seeking support lists over 140 national nonprofit organizations. Additionally, the number of new veterans charities has increased relatively rapidly over the past five years or so, growing by 41% since 2008 compared with 19% for charities in general, according to The Urban Institute as reported in a December 2013 The NonProfit Times article. 

With so many veterans and military organizations competing for charitable dollars, it may take a little extra effort on the part of donors to be well-informed, but that effort is essential given the great need for donations to be used as efficiently and effectively as possible.

Read more here

Homeless Man Helped Stranger with $20, She Returns $20,000

This story keeps getting better!!!

Homeless veteran who received over $360K now wants to pay it forward, 'I just want to do the right thing'

UPDATE

Woman Raises over $254,000 for Homeless Veteran Who Helped Her

Posted on November 23, 2017

UPDATE

Woman raising funds to help homeless Marine Veteran

Johnny, who's 34, told McClure and D'Amico he has been homeless for about a year. He said he was previously a certified paramedic, and also served in the Marine Corps.

Woman raises money for homeless veteran who spent his last $20 to help her

Associated Press

November 22, 2017

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — A New Jersey woman who was helped by a homeless man when she ran out of gas in Philadelphia is raising money to help him.

Kate McClure was heading to Philadelphia to visit a friend last month when she ran out of gas on Interstate 95. The Florence Township woman pulled over and began to worry until a homeless man approached her.

The man, whose name was “Johnny,” told her it wasn’t safe and he bought McClure gas with his last $20.

McClure promised she would return to pay him. McClure and her boyfriend, Mark D’Amico, have since raised over $20,000 for the former ammunition technician.

The pair hope to get “Johnny” an apartment and help with transportation.

read more here

Help With PTSD in Battlefield Called Home

Why Choose To Fight PTSD Alone Now?
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 21, 2017

Combat PTSD Wounded Times is a title I chose very carefully. It means to "fight to heal" because that message seems to be left out of far too many conversations.

If you Google "Veteran Suicide" on the "news" tab, you find 661,000 results. 

If you use the "all" tab, it is a staggering 21,700,000. Most of the results on the first page are links to hope and help. On the other tab with "news" most are about "22 a day" and this group doing this or that, as if they are more newsworthy than the hopeful links. (Sure would be wonderful if someone could explain that one!)

On the flip side, Google "healing PTSD" and you get 38,000 under "news" and with "all" you get 15,600,000. 

If we're ever going to change the outcome from suicide to healing, that would be a great place to start! Flip it around to more about healing and less about giving up.

We've already covered all the real news out there the "awareness" raisers didn't bother to learn but this one is the biggest leftover that could put them out of business.

You may think that there is no point in adding one more day to your life. After all, if all you know is the misery you've been living with, there would not be much of a reason to get up again. Yet, if you know that your life can not just be saved, but changed for the better, then you'd have a better option for today.

As you can tell, there are a lot of people out there doing whatever they can to change the lives they want to save. After all, you are worth every effort. Considering you already survived "IT" the worst of your life's movie was already written. 

Change your thinking of what PTSD is. It actually means you survived and were wounded. Bet you didn't know that one. Post means "after" and Trauma is Greek for "wound." Now you get the other part of your life's story.

Healing is the middle part when the "stress" is worked on and you manage a more balanced life with your body reacting in a calmer way.

As for the "disorder" you shouldn't be offended by that at all. Lets put it this way. I am not the best housekeeper in the world, (not that I have time anyway) and it gets messy in here. Stuff is all over the place and my desk usually looks like a monster that escaped the shredder. Yet, that disorder is only there until I shut down the computer and get busy putting it into a better order than it was.

Bet they didn't tell you that part either! All the stuff I need is still there but I have to get the junk I don't need out of the way before I can find it all.

Same thing with PTSD. Sure it takes a while and patience, especially if you're doing it alone, but it happens a lot faster and comes out better when someone helps you do the work.

You are actually stronger than you think. As a matter of fact, stronger than PTSD is because what is good within you got you wounded in the first place, and in the second place, has been fighting against PTSD taking "who you are" away. It is also the place within you that it hit like an IED or a claymore. 

Still think there is anything weak within you? Then you're not thinking about what you need to know about yourself.

Think of everything you did to get to where you were when "IT" hit. Bet you didn't think of all the training and willingness to sacrifice for other people as coming from an abundance of compassion only equaled to your courage to do it. And that my dear buddy, is exactly what you needed to know at this moment.

Start giving yourself an early Christmas gift by searching for hope and help, since you already know what that is all about. Bet you forgot that is exactly what you did in the military! You searched for a way to do what you had to do, search again. You searched for hope when you were surrounded for more help than you had, search again.

In combat, it wasn't just about your life, but the lives of those around you. At home, it still isn't just about your life. It is about those around you in your family and even beyond that, with all the other veterans searching for help to heal, just like you.

You can find it, but as with anything else in life, you'll find only what you are searching for.

Know that this site isn't going anywhere, no matter what. Top that off with a fabulous group who took what I've been saying to a whole new level with a documentary about healing! 

Battlefield Home: Breaking The Silence

Every warrior, who ever went to battle, is still there. 
Every family that warrior came home to, joined that battle. 

They know that the person who left them to defend our freedoms never returned.

The military family knows this. They maintain the silent dignity of the service. 

It’s part of the unspoken Code for the families of those who serve. 

But for those in the civilian world, that silence goes unnoticed.

BATTLEFIELD: HOME – BREAKING THE SILENCE is an attempt to bridge the gap between those two worlds. It is about the problems they face, the obstacles they endure, and it is also about the hope of the human spirit to return to being whole again.

As the daughter of a combat Marine, the director has the unique perspective to tell that story, and shine a light on the social divide between the families of those who serve and those they protect.

So how about it? Are you ready to work as hard on healing as you did to train for combat? The GAME ON~"IT" lost to you already and this rematch is in your control!!!!!

Start with flipping the results and support the work being done to make it easier for you to fight in this battlefield called home!

Breaking the Silence of PTSD When Battlefield is at Home

Battlefield: Home - Breaking The Silence (Official Trailer)
Gizzy Bear Productions

"Battlefield: Home Breaking the Silence," takes an unflinching look at the aftermath of war and the systems that are failing our veterans and their families. It’s also a validation that healing can occur when “resources” have human eyes and hearts and traumatized people get to tell their stories. Finally, it’s a labor of love and letter of forgiveness to her dad, by filmmaker and adult “child of war” Anita Sugimura.
Brigid Brett, Co-Founder
- Wives of War- San Diego

Battlefield: Home - Breaking The Silence (Official Trailer) from Gizzy Bear Productions on Vimeo.

Vietnam Veterans Need You Clued In on PTSD

What Do Vietnam Veterans Need You to Learn?
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 20, 2017

When the Greeks announced the earth was actually round, instead of flat, it shocked a lot of people. 

Some people still don't believe it. After all, all the pictures they see of maps are flat like this one.

NASA

Considering all those ancient people believed they'd fall off the earth if they went too far, it was not a pretty conversation to have with those who made them believe something that wasn't true at all.

For some reason, the same type of thing is happening with our veterans. Someone thought that the only veterans committing suicide are "post 9 11" veterans. Heck, they even thought there were 22 of them a day deciding surviving home was harder than combat. Guess they never bothered to see what other people actually knew. They were just too busy assuming something, then thought they were the one to do something about this new affliction. After all, it was all new to them.

Don't worry, this isn't another rant against the "awareness" raisers. I think I have it out of my system...for a while anyway. Besides, I can't write anything new that won't get me in more trouble. 

It needs to be said, that the majority of the veterans committing suicide, in need of the most help, waited the longest, are the ones no one knows are even still there. The veterans of The Gulf War, Vietnam, Korea and WWII. All of those generations came home with the same wounds but not the same attention.

They still don't have it because most of them are not on social media. They are not doing Snapchat or Instagram. As for Linkedin, they joined the VFW, American Legion and the Disabled American Veterans, plus the Vietnam Veterans of America, motorcycle clubs and linked in face to face instead of going on Facebook to do more than look at pictures of their Grandkids.

The research the VA did on suicides stated clearly...among other things, that the majority of the veterans committing suicide are over the age of 50. Guess it was easier to figure it is too late for them to get help. Guess they were wrong and you'd be right.

In 2007 148,000 of Vietnam veterans showed up for help for the first time. That should send two clear messages. Once they know why they are suffering, they want to help, and the other, should be a warning of what is to come if we get nothing right, right now.

The truth is, the bulk of research started in the 70's and expanded in the 80's because Vietnam veterans came home and fought for it. The VA has a history of PTSD "The DSM-III criteria for PTSD were revised in DSM-III-R (1987), DSM-IV (1994), DSM-IV-TR (2000), and DSM-5 (2013) to reflect continuing research. One important finding, which was not clear at first, is that PTSD is relatively common. Recent data shows about 4 of every 100 American men (or 4%) and 10 out every 100 American women (or 10%) will be diagnosed with PTSD in their lifetime."

So, if you have PTSD, thank them for knowing that it isn't your fault. It is whatever IT was that threatened your life on this planet.

The other truth is that regular people also noticed. This song from Poison came out in 1990. 

Lyrics SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN

Well I see him on the TV

Preachin' 'bout the promised lands

He tells me to believe in Jesus

And steals the money from my hand

Some say he was a good man

But Lord I think he sinned, yeah

Twenty-two years of mental tears

Cries a suicidal Vietnam vet

Who fought a losing war on a foreign shore

To find his country didn't want him back

Their bullets took his best friend in Saigon

Our lawyers took his wife and kids,

No regrets

In a time I don't remember

In a war he can't forget

He cried forgive me for

What I've done there

'Cause I never meant the things I did"

And give me something to believe in

If there's a Lord above

And give me something to believe in

Oh, Lord arise

My best friend died a lonely man

In some Palm Springs hotel room

I got the call last Christmas Eve

And they told me the news

I tried all night not to break down and cry

As the tears rolled down my face

I felt so cold and empty

Like a lost soul out of place

And the mirror, mirror on the wall

Sees my smile it fades again 

**********

I drive by the homeless sleeping on

A cold dark street

Like bodies in an open grave

Underneath the broken old neon sign

That used to read

Jesus Saves

A mile away live the rich folks

And I see how they're living it up

While the poor they eat from hand to mouth

The rich is drinkin' from a golden cup

And it just makes me wonder

Why so many lose, so few win

read the rest of the lyrics here. 

"And it just makes me wonder why so many lose, so few win" when the truth is, they already won the battles for the rest of the world. 

The question is, "When do we help them fight for the right to matter to the rest of us?"

Dispatchers Deal With High Stress

Volusia, Flagler emergency dispatchers cope with long hours, low pay, high turnover

News Journal Online
Matt Bruce
November 19, 2017

“They have to be the voice that re-introduces some level of calmness and assurance into what is often a very difficult situation for the people who are calling,” said John Balloni, director of the Communications Center in Volusia County. “People are screaming at them, they’re swearing at them, and they’re upset. We teach them, yes, that’s all going to happen to you, but your job is still to be that voice of calm and reason, assure them that help is on the way.”

About half of Volusia County’s new dispatchers quit during their first year on the job, while nearly a third of Flagler’s recruits resign.

They serve as a bridge between crisis and intervention in a job that often requires them to hear the worst of humanity. Each day a legion of 9-1-1 dispatchers in Flagler and Volusia counties handle thousands of calls that can range in urgency from routine to catastrophic.

“They are the unsung heroes of all law enforcement and first responders,” Flagler County Sheriff Rick Staly said. “Not only are they the voice of the Sheriff’s Office, but they also help protect our deputies.”

The U.S. Bureau of Labor rates emergency dispatching as one of the country’s most stressful professions, a fact that plays a role both near and far. About half of Volusia County’s new dispatchers quit during their first year on the job while nearly a third of Flagler’s recruits resign, officials said.

High turnover rates and staffing shortages at dispatch centers are a nationwide issue as agencies across the country struggle to find qualified call takers who can maintain their composure through intense trauma.

read more here

PTSD Suicide Squealers vs Healers

The Numbers They Are Not Aware Of
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 19, 2017

It doesn't take a crystal ball to see right through them! All of these stunts the "22 a day" squealers keep shouting, are in fact all about them, and not the veterans they failed to do anything for. It is all so easy for them to have an event to raise funds when they don't have to lift up a single veteran. 

Why should they? Gullible, well meaning folks, simply trust them. After all Everyone claims to care, few actually care enough to take the time to make lives better while paying a price with their own.

If you are a healer, this rips all of us apart. We go through it all the time. We are the ones standing by their side until they can walk away to a happier life that is being lived. We give them a better understanding of what PTSD is, what it does to them, but then, then we help them see what is still within them. That love, compassion and truly amazing courage they had to be willing to risk their lives for someone else.

We listen to the pain in their voice, hold their trembling hands and spend hours in silence when the words just won't come out of their mouth. All too often that is when we learn the most from them.

We make them aware of why they should continue as a survivor when squealers remind them of how many they think don't make it. 

We do it in privacy, without T-shirts or banners of how many lives we saved, when they have reporters surrounding then, writing down whatever they claim without asking for any proof or accountability.

They get away with claiming to help "veterans and families" but when you look up their site, it turns out they only have a "mission" toward the OEF and OIF veterans, not the older ones needing help the most and waiting the longest.

We only need to know they are a veteran in need and give them what we can.  Most of the time, it is a lot more than our time. They take a piece of our soul with them as they leave to continue to work at what we told them they needed to do and going where we told them they needed to go.

Squealers get to enjoy the glory without having to learn anything about the story of their lives or invest any time making sure they had the resources and knowledge to actually change the outcome.

They talk about numbers that are not real, we remember the names of every single one of them who came into our hearts for the one thing we do best, but we cannot tell anyone what we are doing. We made them a promise understanding that their stories are not ours to tell.

So, yes Healer, I understand exactly what you are going through. Take my advice on this one, since I've been in this for over 3 decades. 

If you stop what you're doing because they get in the way, veterans will continue to lose their battles. 

If you give up because this is too hard, better think of all the times when it was a lot harder to help veterans and that blessing you felt when they got out of that dark place they've been in for so long.

If you do not find enough comfort in that, then think of this. When their time of judgement comes, they may come face to face with all the ones they used for their own gain, while you will come face to face with those you saved long enough until their own lives have come to a natural end.

As they squeal about numbers without reading the reports they came from, we'll keep doing the work to make sure the one we work with does not become one of those they are unaware of.

Veterans face off with law enforcement at least once a week in this country. I found 49 of their stories. How many more do you think it is happening to?

All veterans should matter everyday. They did to their families and friends but not to the people running around the country ignoring what can't fit on a bumper sticker.

New Freedom Medal Award Celebrates Service After Service

New Freedom Medal Award winners feted at gala

Delaware County News Network

Leslie Krowchenko

November 18, 2017

Kinney, of Middletown, delayed his college education to enlist in the Marine Corps, serving in Vietnam in 1966-1967. Upon his return he joined the VFW, American Legion and Disabled American Veterans and has assisted in performing more than 1,000 military funerals. He was inducted into the Chapel of the Four Chaplains Legion of Honor in 2016.

Seated from left, Freedom Medal Award winners Sean Sweeney, Marty Costello, Jennifer Jones, Dr. Tina Kane, Jerry Sweeley and Bill Kinney Jr. are flanked by members of Delaware County Council and the Delaware County Veterans Memorial Association board.

SPRINGFIELD  Honoring America’s veterans should not be limited to the eleventh day of the eleventh month.

The Delaware County Veterans Memorial Association and Delaware County Council insure that respect is year-round.

More than 500 local residents joined Thursday night for the fourth annual Freedom Medal Award dinner. The event at Springfield Country Club provided an Olympic-style podium to congratulate dedication to country recipients Marty Costello, Jennifer Jones, Bill Kinney Jr., Jerry Sweeley and Sean Sweeney, Dr. Tina Kane (dedication to education), the Videon family (dedication to community) and Delaware County Councilman David White (president’s award).

“This is an opportunity to honor our heroes for their service and sacrifice,” said Army veteran and association board President Guy Fizzano. “It is also a chance to thank our donors, who support the memorial’s upkeep and its educational programs.”

This year’s honorees represent the best of the Army, Navy and Marine Corps. Costello, of Radnor, enlisted in the Navy in 1976 and served as an aircraft mechanic with Attack Squadron 82. He has dedicated numerous hours to local veterans’ organizations and their causes, including as commander of the Delaware County American Legion committee, and worked to rebuild and rededicate the war memorial in his home town.

read more here

Dad Keeping Promise After Army Son's Suicide

Veteran suicides: Father of late third-generation soldier takes on new mission in his memory 
Tulsa World
Tim Stanley
November 19, 2017


War at home
After 10 years of distinguished military service — including tours in Iraq, Afghanistan and the Persian Gulf, and various decorations as a squad leader — Army Staff Sgt. Michael Keith Coon took his own life in 2015.

Michael D. Coon holds the flag of his son, Staff Sgt. Michael K. Coon, who committed suicide after 10 years of service in the Army and multiple deployments to the Middle East. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World 

At a veterans appreciation event a few years ago, Michael K. Coon made his grandfather a promise.

Pointing to the combat infantryman badge on Phillip Coon’s uniform, he said, "Grandpa, I'm going to have one of those, too — just like the one on your chest,” recalled Michael’s father, Michael D. Coon.

He said it was the first time that his son, then 23, had indicated he planned to go into the military.

Phillip — a decorated World War II veteran who survived the infamous Bataan Death March — couldn’t have been more proud of the young man he still referred to as “my baby grandson.”

Going on to enlist in the Army, Michael K. Coon would represent the third generation of his family to serve, carrying on a tradition that, as a source of pride to the Coons, ranked second only to their Muscogee (Creek) heritage.

Recently, during a visit to Fort Gibson National Cemetery on Veterans Day, the memory of Michael K. Coon's promise was again on his father’s mind.

For Michael D. Coon, Fort Gibson will, from now on, be the site of an annual pilgrimage.

What more appropriate way to observe Veterans Day, Coon said, than by visiting the graves of his father, Phillip, and son, Michael.

read more here

UK: Suicide Days Apart, Two Soldiers From Same Unit

Military chiefs launch urgent investigation after two war veterans from same unit kill themselves just days apart

Mirror UK

By Dan Warburton and Sean Rayment
November 18, 2017

The probe is set against a growing crisis in the Armed Forces over fears of a lack of support for troops battling demons

Military chiefs have launched an urgent probe after two war veterans from the same unit killed themselves within days of each other.

Royal Military Police officers are quizzing colleagues of the two men over fears they were suffering post-traumatic stress disorder.

The Sunday People can reveal married dad-of-one Paul Sparks was found dead at an Army base in Germany as he was about to end his 27-year military career.

Nathan Shimwell's death came just days later after Paul Sparks took his own life (Image: Facebook)

And Sergeant Nathan Shimwell, 33, died just days later at a base in England, sparking an MoDinvestigation.

The probe is set against a growing crisis in the Armed Forces over fears of a lack of support for troops battling demons.

read more here